" "Sure you are. You're terrified. That's why you got so angry when he said that you were pretty. What if it's true? Worse yet, what if you believed i... and it wasn't true?" "How do you expect me to feel?" I said, my anger evaporating into sadness. She reached out and gently put her hand on my knee. "You have to believe in yourself sometime. You have to stop burying it all. Let it out, let me out." "How? How can I change the way I've been my entire life?" "You've changed the way people see you,. I noticed kids get rebuffed, or sitting in a corner, or just not connecting to what was going on around them. I found it easier to approach someone and ask to sit with them during lunch, or to ask for their help in a subject if they were in one of my classes. I didn't really need much help with that, but it was a believable excuse.Having two of me agree to go and talk with someone made it easier to do so. I didn't feel so self-conscious or worry about rejection. I was often told to go away,. The man’s name was John. He was my age and very handsome. He had blue eyes and brown hair going slightly grey at the temples. He was a doctor, divorced for three years. The rest of his profile was, as my son initially reported, completely normal. I immediately sent him a “Like.”John replied later that evening and told me that he liked what he saw in my profile and pictures. We communicated for two days through the dating site before he finally suggested it would be easier to text each other. I. We chatted a bit, Richard on the big living room chair and me on the sofa. I had been sitting on it rather primly, but gradually opened my legs so he was soon looking at where my legs came together. My nipples got hard again. I saw a bump in his pants and figured I’d done enough for one night.“I gotta go home,” I said. “It’s 11:30.”He frowned and said OK, got up and paid me. He took me to the door. Just as we got there, I turned around and stood close to him, maybe a foot away, and let my hand.
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