She faced me, eager to lend her support. It was with all my strength that I managed to relate everything April had said without crying.“I don’t k...ow”, I admitted. “She wants Michael back, wants to work things out with Michael”, I said the name almost like a curse. “But I can’t give her that. He is gone. I am Michelle, I’ve been Michelle for a very long time, only now realizing it”. I stared out of the car window, slowly watching the rays of the sun shrink behind a forest of trees.“I. Lucy Maud, my cat, jumped up and curled herself comfortingly around my feet and the two of us watched the morning in silence. I was tired, my thighs ached, and I was maybe a tiny bit hungover, but more than that I was heartsore. Outside, two robins flirted and sang on a tree branch; inside, I tried to block out their happy noise.I don't know how long I sat there and I don't know how time still managed to creep by; I do know I ignored the phone ringing a few more times, I didn't want to talk to. " Or, "I don't see an engagement ring on your finger. Surely he didn't think a good looking woman like you would just sit back and wait?"I was hit on quite often. When asked to dance, I usually refused. I was tired of being groped and tired of fighting men off. Even married guys would try and see how far they could get. 'Not available' just wasn't enough for some guys. Luckily, I did have some male friends that stuck up for me.Most of my girlfriends were married, but they seemed to get hit on. Realizing her gaffe, she tries to run, to flee their wrath. In one brief moment, she has managed to steal their animal frenzy… broken their blood high, today’s pleasure lost. She is caught and roughhoused back. Women scratching her flesh, men squeezing her hard. A hand crashes into the side of her face and she stumbles… falls. As a mass of feet and circle about her body, her soul dives inward: a fragile bird retreating to the safety within. Darkness overcomes her… * * * * * Sore eyes flutter….
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