”Japanese tourist : “Fluck you too, European!”There was a musican called Gager Who, as the result of a wager, Consented to fart The whole oboe p...rt Of Mozart’s Quartet in F majorI was reading an article on Gandhi recently. I never realised that he had very bad breath. Also, he had huge callouses on his feet because he never wore shoes. And his general health was very bad.In fact, you could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic cursed by halitosis.Have you heard the one about the agnostic. Never take a librarian to a cabaret, she thought! The first act was called Kitty Katty. Expecting some kind of feline theme, Emma was disappointed to find the routine a rather generic, drawn-out removal of elaborate clothes down to nipple tassels and knickers. ‘She’s just a stripper in fancy dress,’ Emma grumbled quietly, to which Rebekah shushed her. It was getting more like the library all the time. A conjurer was on next, then a rather fetching moustachioed fellow in a boater playing heavy. That made me realize that the things she was saying were nonsense. They were just a barrier that she was throwing at me to keep me away from her. I stopped yelling. I just cut off what I was saying in mid-sentence. Then I slid forward over the bed and put my arms around her.”“So what happened then?” I asked.“She hit me. She fought against me. She struggled like I was trying to kill her. She hurt me in a couple of places. I have this scratch on my neck.”We all paused to examine the red mark down. I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt like I could make the shot, granted all our solids were on the opposite side of the table from the cueball, but I still thought I could make one. “Wanna bet?”“You’re gonna bet on this babe? You suck at pool! Ok, if you make any shot I’ll kiss you and feel you up in front of all of our parents, how’s that for a bet?”“I wouldn’t do it man, that’s pretty bold being all grabby in front of everyone like that,” Chris said.“Nope I have a better one, you won’t kiss.
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