I needed to be me, Tori. Damn, I’d almost forgotten her: the vibrant young woman that used to laugh, love, and have fun. The one that went out on Fr...day night and enjoyed herself.I was only twenty-eight, but it seemed like I was nearer fifty. Life with three kids and a husband who worked all the time was dragging me down. When Todd came home, he’d grab a beer, sit his ass in the chair, and wait for his dinner to be served. Who was this man? Certainly not the man I married: the loving, kind,. She was no secretary: officially she was senior project coordinator, but we depended on her for client relations, talent searches, proposals and everything else.Other developers called her ‘ma’, half in sour derision for her prickly goading to meet deadlines, half in respect for her skill in solving any problem.“Hey, Carlos? We won the Lode contract.”I was deep in another late-night code-a-thon when Erin appeared in a video window. She never said hello, never made small talk, just got right to. But the thought kept returning. On myreturn to the railway station I would be wearing a skirt. And probablygirls' shoes. And who knows what else?Eventually I turned a corner and saw my future home. I immediatelyrecognised the apartment block, even though it had been some time since Ivisited it. I stopped for a moment. Did I really want to go through withthis humiliation? Well, no I didn't really. But I wanted the apartment.In fact I needed the apartment and the security it would bring. I. Looking over the steering wheel, I could see the maroon colors on myfingernails. I exited slowly, but first I adjusted my rear view mirror tocheck my makeup for, oh, the 50th time or so. The bangs from my wigspilled over my forehead. My eyeliner was holding, but I needed work onmy lipstick.This is it, I thought. This was my moment, the moment I had anticipatedfor most of my life. I watched as other people -- some couples, someloners -- entered the bar.Finally, I summoned the courage, and I.
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