For all of the guilt that I felt, I also knew in my heart of hearts that I had enjoyed it. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and probably the most tr...ubling thing about all this was that I also seemed to be in a constant state of arousal. Maybe it was the naughtiness of it all, or the idea that a young guy, and not just any young guy, but my own son thought I was sexy enough to want to fantasize about. I was trying to sort through these and other thoughts as I stood in my kitchen sipping my. I deserved to be humiliated and raped. I deserved everything he did. I hated myself. You think I deserved it, too.”I managed to bring my hands up to Kate’s shoulders and tried to hold her. She pushed herself away from me.“I understand what Wendy felt when she went back to Rafe. I understand why she felt that way. I understand what a terrible, dirty, self-centered person I am. I wash—douche—every day, but I’ll never be clean again. I lost everything. I’ll never have ... never have you back.”I. Not hard jail but a large home for non violent women. She was on probation and returned to her apartment. In this time my ex and I decided to split. I wanted c***dren and she did not. I wanted things she did not and realized marriage based on sex alone was not working. I see her wave and she motions for me to come up. Found her apartment was nice and clean. She told me her feelings for me had not changed. She had on nice clothes and her house slippers. We talked and the more we talked the. "Jack walked in, stood next to Kim's bed and watched her talk on the phone."Listen Paul, I have to go now. Will you call me tomorrow?" Sure Kim, I'll call you when you get home from school. Goodnight baby." Goodnight sweetie, I miss you." Kim said, and hung up the phone."How's Paul?" Jack asked his sister."He's fine." It sounds like you two are getting along."Kim nodded and sat up on her bed, crossing her legs Indian style. Jack sat on the edge and looked into her eyes."It must be tough finding.
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