These men had grown up in Argentina and spent their life with horses. They were used to their native women; shriveled, weathered dark haired and squat...y. They were old by thirty.They were not used to this. This woman who they knew to be forty or more was different. They were not used to this kind of reddish brown hair. She and her daughter had spent hours in the sun wearing bikinis. Her delicate skin was a mild coppertone with the small patches of alabaster white covering some of her breasts. She even snipped some random wild hairs from my rear end and we both laughed at how ticklish I was back there at the touch of her fingers. There was a lot of hair and she wrapped it all up and put it into the trash because she was afraid it might clog the pipes. I told her that I would return the favor whenever she was in a mood.She rubbed my neck with skillful hands and I closed my eyes pretending she was the Oriental girl at the Detention Center who made me feel so good in the middle of the. She had caught herself half crouching in the bath, unconsciously having started to get up and go get her dolly. The air was cool and she sank back down in the tub. Somehow, knowing that her doll was there was comforting. It would be there tomorrow, and she'd go get it then.Her mind stayed in the house, in the room where she now believed her doll lay. All she had of that room were good memories. It occurred to her that it wasn't the house that had killed her parents. Men had done that. Greed had. She knows how uncomfortable it makes me feel, so why does she keep doing it? When she lays into me like that, I regret ever having moved in to her campus apartment. I’m okay with being left alone? right? Maybe not. How does she land guys like Tim? We look almost identical, but why do all the guys flock to her? She finished her entry, latched the diary shut, and hid it in the corner before getting ready for bed and falling asleep, dreams of acceptance immersing her soul. ---------- .
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