Silly but that turns me on, a lot.That's the twist! Everything is "all or nothing" with me! even down to the guilt.There are no "in betweens". I hones...ly never get mildly excited or even slightly repulsed. I'm either rampant for it and fantasying about dogs screwing me or mortified and want to hide away and join a convent, almost suicidal over it all.Its black or white, no greys. I either think I want to kill myself for what I've done, or shudder with excitement and want to go out, buy a Great. Well, even that isn't quite true. What brought me to my senses actually was the arrival of Sergeant Frank Stevens at their house. How he knew that I was there, I don't know; perhaps he decided to track me down and find out what had happened to me when my daily phone calls to him asking if there was any news suddenly stopped."Look, Peter," he said to me, "I know what you're going through, believe me. I've seen things like this happen all too many times in the past and I know what kind of effect. Maureen was shedding tears all the time, so much that Carla became worried and fussy. A long look was passed between Joey and Deirdre and then Deirdre went to the front pew and pulled her little half sister up. With Carla between them and holding their hands, Joey and Deirdre spoke the vows that made them husband and wife.It was a small party afterwards with less than thirty guests, but it was intimate. Joey and Deirdre really could spend time with each of their guests making the event more. Somehow Sandy trusted her and was willing to follow her lead. Ironically, Sandy thought to herself that if the receptionist had been this incredibly persuasive just imagine what "the Mistress" could do!That rush of excitement that she had been trying to push to the back of her mind rushed back undeniably at that thought. Why was she so turned on by all of this?"So that's it, " She thought. "I guess I just admitted to myself that I find this arousing. But why? I've never really thought about.
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