I have to admit I was suddenly overcome with feelings; love, protectiveness, and even some jealousy. Powerful stuff and really hurt in my chest: noth...ng I could do. I knew if I opened my mouth I was going to say something stupid and soppy and not what she wanted to hear I was certain. I just lay there hurting until she pulled me up saying she wanted a shower. I am sure she knew what I was feeling, it was probably written all over my face.As we got to the shower, we could hear Ivan in there. The black guy just looked me up and down and said “I love fat boys” that sent chills down my spine, the other old white guys said I look like a chocolate bunny. I asked John what is going on. John said if I wanted the other $500 just pose for him. I nervously walked to the middle of the livingroom, John sat on the couch, Lamar started taking pictures and Mike asked John “Where did you find this whore?” Lamar said my ass is fat and looks good. John took me to spin around for him. I turned and. .and I love you." Please don't say that."I continued without hesitation, "You can trust me...you've always been able to trust me. You know that." I don't-"I interrupted, "I'm committed to you, Zach. I have been for over a month. I'm tired of coming home from work to find you having sex with other girls in our bed. You're so much better than that and this, where we are now, is evidence of that."I turned to face him, as we held each other as close as possible.He didn't say anything...so I spoke. Her divorce filingwas slowly working its way through the legal system. I wanted to settleand finish the case. I laid out the terms I wanted to see. They keptasking if I was sure about them. I assured them I was.My next stop was the bureau of motor vehicles to obtain an ID card. Theclerk raised some eyebrows as they looked from me to the data in theirsystem. They studied the court paperwork carefully. It turned out thatsince it was a name and gender change and not a new ID that I was givena.
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